A year ago I refused to look at myself in a full-length mirror. I was a size 26 and my large belly repulsed me. I lived in leggings and baggy tunic tops that I bought at plus-size shops to try to hide my shape.
But if you had known me then you wouldn't have guessed. I always tried to put on a happy front even though I was unhappy with myself. Not even my partner Pete knew just how bad I felt. But then Pete was one of the reasons I weighed 22 stone (140kg).
Pete and I met three years ago. I was already overweight but during our relationship I put on another five stone. He would do most of the cooking and made huge portions, it was how he showed me he cared. If I asked him to bring back a chocolate bar he would bring back a selection of five.
BBC/RENEGADE PICTURESWe encouraged each other in our bad habits. We would also get two takeaways a week, like Chinese or pizza. We each have a child from previous relationships and on weekends we would often eat out and have treats like ice cream. When I had our son Cameron a year in to our relationship I didn't lose the baby weight.
That's one reason why I wanted to do BBC One's Lose Weight For Love. As part of the show we separated for 10 weeks while we worked on our own issues around food and exercise. I thought that if we tried to tackle it together we would sabotage each other. I stayed at our home in Warrington with the kids, while Pete moved to his sister's house in the Wirral. It was tough as we hadn't spent a night apart since we had got together but I knew it was something we needed to do.
I had just started training to be a midwife and I didn't want to feel like a hypocrite advising women about the dangers of obesity during pregnancy when I couldn't manage my own weight.
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